So, I cut myself open. My mom said the entire living room was covered with blood. She she told me later there was not one area that was not bloody. And I already I'm already cut up. Like arteries were cut. And I'm on the stretcher. And as I'm getting carried out, I'm going in and out of my body now. I'm having OB. The one minute I'm in eternity. One minute I'm back on Earth. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm dying."
I just knew as my spirit leaves my body. I thought I was going to go up and like fly up to heaven and see something good, but I started sinking. It felt like an elevator that had no cable just and I'm I'm like, "Oh my gosh, did I make a mistake?" Like, "This is not heaven." So, I fall fall fall for like 5 minutes and like boom, I land and I look around, the whole place is crowded with people. I look up and it's just pitch dark.
I was like, "Huh, I'm in hell." I just knew I'm in hell. There's a cliff next to me. There's no plants, no animals, no life. And the fear, the anxiety, the hopelessness that I felt on Earth just increased even more. I look up and there's demons with capes and they're huge. And they're they're like here, here, here. And I knew they were like in charge of this place. And I go, "Oh my gosh." I saw cells on the on the cliffs where I knew I was going to go in there and get tortured.
I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm next." I made a huge mistake. It's too late, though. Cuz supernaturally, I knew I was a sinner for the first time in my life, Rebecca. I was like, "What?" Cuz on earth, I was a pretty good Buddhist. In my eyes, I was very righteous. Like, I'm a good person. But right when I landed, for the first time in my life, I knew I deserve to be there. And number two, I knew I was going to be here forever.
This is it. And that [music] feeling of eternal separation from God, it shouldn't be felt by people because it says in the Bible, God desires all people to be saved. But people go there because they don't. They choose to go there. So, I believe in free will and all that. I used to be like God [music] sends people. God wants everybody in heaven. So free will is so real. Choice is what makes a human a human and love love and God God.
[music] [music]
Chapter 2: Introduction
Guys, I'm so excited because we have Steve Kang here. All right. Thank you so much for being here. It's an honor to be here. Thank you for having me. Oh, it's an honor. I mean guys, powerful testimony goes experiences hell also experiences heaven. But I want to go all the way now. You put it all in this book, right? I got excited because you Vlad did [clears throat] your forward and we love Vlad here. So I got [laughter] excited to Vlad. Yeah, he's awesome. Yes. Yeah. but I want to go all the way back to the beginning because what I found so interesting, this is such a redemption story, but you were born into
Chapter 3: Growing up Buddhist in South Korea
in Korea and to a Buddhist family. Y and you were dedicated to Buddha and had spiritual experiences growing up. So, kind of start in childhood. You grew up in Buddhist temples. Yes. Yes. So, yeah, thank you Rebecca for that warm intro and shalom. yeah, I was born in South Korea 1979 where Christianity was spreading but they still did not reach my family. So both of my parents they met in the temple they arranged marriage.
So my grandparents on my mother and father's side were super Buddhist like building temples, donating all their money because my grandpa was a winery owner, very wealthy. And he was giving everything away to build his temple. And then voila, I was born, you know, even though I went to a Christian kindergarten, can you believe that? Called Trinity Kindergarten. I never heard the gospel. So I was in the temples from the age of six.
And from a young age, Rebecca, I was asking questions. I don't know if all kids do this, but I was like, Lord, I mean, not Lord back then, Buddha. [laughter] why is there injustice in this world? Why are some people suffering and some people die early? Why are some rich, some poor? Why are some fed well, and others are victims to injustice? And the monks told me, Steve, it's because of a summation of their past lives.
So, your life too is a summation of all your past lives. And I said, well, okay. So, I guess it's fair in that sense. So, what do I have to And they said, "To get your sins forgiven, have a better life, you need to start praying." And I said, "How many hours?" And they said, "Millions of years." So I was like, "Well, that I I better start now." They're like, "Yes, you better start now." So it was part fear, part driven to earn salvation that kept me in the Buddhist temples from a very young age.
I was praying from the age of six. [laughter] I know. And you see, I didn't know that much about Buddhism when I was listening to another interview of yours. And I It just seems very hopeless. Yeah, you
Chapter 4: The hopelessness of Buddhism
know, I can laugh about it now and there's a reason why his name is Buddha [laughter] and I I do that in every every church I go to. and it's it's hopeless because like there is no concept of mercy or forgiveness. Everything that happens is like you deserve it. So so it kind of allows people to treat people very indifferently like not help the poor, not forgive because they deserve that. It's their past life sins.
Whereas in Christianity, you have a good God who's constantly interacting with people and seeing everything. But in Buddhism, you know, I'll be frank with you. I talked to that statue. It was a one-way convo. And I was praying not 8 minutes a day, eight hours a day in front of the statue hoping he will wink at me and say hello. But he never did any of that. It's a statue, right? His eyes were closed, his belly was out, his hand was out.
And now I think about it, I think he was saying, "I don't have the answer." [laughter] Yeah. But back then I didn't know any better. Yeah. No, I I I was I admired your dedication. I mean I it was like how could someone do that? Yeah. Yeah. Be so dedicated. but it was interesting because even though you were dedicated to Buddha at a young age, God had a plan for your life and would use you not only for you to get saved but to impact even your family, which I I just love stories like that because it's not just the one person who gets saved, but it's the ripple effect of all the people around them who will be impacted.
So, I love that. But you grew up, I really felt like longing for God, longing for identity, and even having spiritual
Chapter 5: Experiencing demonic oppression as a child
experiences, but not really understanding like what was going on, but kind of like darkness and like even seeing demons and stuff or having dreams. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, Rebecca. So, you know, because all these doors were open of idolatry and ancestral idolatry where it's I wasn't the first one. It ran in the whole generation and until Jesus came, I lived in such fear of darkness, evil spirits. I was so afraid of the darkness that I rarely slept with the light turned off.
That's how I was afraid of darkness. The intensity of like I deserve this, like what's next? And because I didn't have Jesus back then, when evil spirits came to me, I'll give you an example. When I was 6, seven, 8 years old, I used to have fevers like once a year. And whenever I had him, I would see hundreds of demonic faces just floating in my room talking to me. And I thought every kid goes through that.
Oh, this is part of life. And I found out that's not not every kid goes through [laughter] that, especially not Christian kids. No, the Christian baby would have rebuked that evil spirit. But they came and I remember having dreams of like Buddha floating in my room. And this one time I was in high school cuz I was like super dedicated in high school. And I was praying so much that in my dream I saw like a million snakes literally to my waist deep in my in my house like and the monks I told the monks I had this dream and they go, "Oh, Steve, you're going to get blessed."
And now we know that's that's a big lie cuz the devil comes to steal kill this joy. And that's exactly what he did. So I had a lot of demonic encounters thinking that's like as spiritual as things get. I didn't see the kingdom of light. So it was very intense, very fearful. There was no concept of forgiveness. so when I met Jesus, I went from the scary cat, you know, that was afraid of people, darkness, yeah, my destiny, whatever, to becoming very very bold and very filled with just God's power because the Lord says if you get power from above, you become so filled with his grace that you can be a witness everywhere.
So, it was a light night and day change for me. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't even think about the fact that in your both of your family lines, all of those open doors that the demonic had access to you as a child. Yeah. Yeah. So, there was so much curses like my my father and my uncle, they were both like on the brink of divorce. As a matter of fact, my dad didn't even live with me. Even though he was super wealthy, there was no there was no like presence.
He was always missing. He was always gone. Absent. Yeah. He was an absent father that didn't know how to like take care of us cuz he was pursuing money. My uncle too did not live with his wife and so the kids were abandoned. Even though they were wealthy, there was no father. So even when I heard the concept of like father god, I was like was kind of foreign. Yeah. I was like does that mean he's going to talk to me?
[laughter] But I had a powerful encounter with him where he he changed all that and and gave me a lot of strength to to to not only be healed but to forgive my dad. Oh wow. And also to lead him to Christ because it took it took me 10 years 10 years of prayer and now he's on fire. He's on fire for the Lord. That's so powerful. And of course my mom and my younger brother and my uncle too. He was a Oh, your uncle too.
My uncle was one of the few gangsters in Korea that had weapons and he was always fighting and motorcycle. And when he came to Christ, I was like, "God, nothing's impossible for you." It was like 3 years after my dad came to Christ. And now he texts me, "Did you read the Bible, Steve?" [laughter] No way. So, I'm so glad to see God's word fulfilled in my life. and can be fulfilled in anyone's life where it says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household."
That includes all your cousins and parents and uncles and aunts and nieces and nephews. I love that so much. Amen.
Chapter 6: Transitioning from South Korea to America
So, you're growing up in a Buddhist home in Korea. Your father is absent and you wind up moving to America. What brought you there? Yeah. So, you know, America was like the land of dreams, right? The land of movies. I used to watch ET and Yeah. Goonies and all these movies. I was like, that looks like such a cool country to go to. And you know what's funny? Like I used to pretend to speak English to the to my cousins.
really. And I was talking gibberish and like, "Oh my gosh, your English is so good." Little did I know, I was going to move to America at the age of nine cuz my mom is a registered nurse. And then what happened was even though my dad was one of the wealthiest people in in in his whole state, whatever the town, he went bankrupt. So my my dad was like, "There's a better life in America." So my mom came to Boston where they were recruiting nurses.
She has a degree from like Germany and stuff. So she spoke German, English, Korean. So she moves to Boston and then and then I moved with her for a better life. And when I came to America, I was so blessed by the size of the supermarkets cuz in Korea in the 80s, it was still super poor. Like we're coming out of a it was like the project to make Korea wealthier and back then there was no restaurants, no supermarkets that were big.
Like hamburgers were rare, like very developing stage. So when I came to America, walked into like Ralphson and stopped in shops, I was like, "Oh my gosh, [clears throat] look like oh [laughter] like Christmas, Thanksgiving, even though Halloween, you know, I was a non-believer back then. Was so fun." Yeah. And yeah, it was like a night and day change as well. So you're in America for how many years?
I I was 9 years old at the time. So I'm I'm in my 40s now, so it was like 30 some years ago. Yeah. And but did you ever have any experience with Jesus at that point? Unfortunately, not. I wish I did because I wish I met God when I was younger, but even though I got invited by church cuz many Asian-Americans, especially Korean-Americans, are all Christian. I was the only I was the only Yeah. I was only Buddhist.
And I was like, I got to be loyal to my Buddhist faith. So, I rejected the Christian faith many times. So, unfortunately, I didn't have any encounters with Jesus. But I did go through more identity crisis, more adolescence, more rebellion. Eventually, my dad was like, "Hey, that's enough. Six years of America is enough." So, he brought me back to Korea to go to an American school where you study in Korea, but it's for like international students and you come back to America for college.
What was his thinking behind that? his thinking behind that, Rebecca, was he wanted me to be more Koreanized and be good to my mom cuz I was like a rebel. Oh, were you giving your mom grief? Yeah. [laughter] Adolescence, right? Yeah. Maybe maybe some of the parents can relate to that. so my my dad said, "You know what? You need to come back here, practice more Buddhism, study harder." And that's exactly what happened.
I moved back to South Korea and I was studying harder. So my grades got better and the monks were like discipling me. my aunt was like second in command and they they had supernatural powers. They were like healing people, doing all these things and they taught me how to pray every day. [snorts] but it was again very I was still so there was something missing in my heart like I had all these things right education dad supporting me now blah blah blah the Buddhist faith but deep in my heart there was a hole and and then Jesus patched that hole when he when he showed up.
Yeah. Yeah.
Chapter 7: Counterfeit demonic powers
And so what's interesting is your aunt actually went to she got a healing Yeah. through a Buddhist monk. Correct. Can you talk about that? Yeah. So, South Korea has 300,000 self-proclaimed messiahs. They all say they're the Christ. So, we I didn't know this, but I was we we followed one of them and this guy, we took a picture of him and he became a ball of light in the photograph. He healed. It's like u let me give you a biblical example so people don't get confused.
Moses when he was confronting Pharaoh's magi, they could follow Moses's miracles to a certain extent, right? like the first three when the prophets of Baal came. I'm sure they did something to fool the Israelites to stop worshiping the God of Abraham. So they do have some powers, but it's limited power. It's limited because demonic power. Exactly. That's why my aunt, even though she got healed by this monk and dedicated her life to him and moved, it was it was so bad for her marriage cuz she moved out of the house.
She was never there for her kids cuz the monks like took her, you know, and that's the product though. It's like witchcraft. So it's like even people witch doctors and stuff they can do a something but it always come. It's always conditional. There's always a price you have to pay. Exactly. And you'll end up paying in the long run. Yeah. And the price is the the the sickness came back. Yeah. And then she became like mentally ill.
So I'm still reaching out to her. A lot of my cousins got saved but she still hasn't got saved yet. That's a big prayer request. But all right. Well then podcast be praying for the aunt. Yes. Amen. I want her [laughter] to come in too. I want the whole family. Thank you. Thank you, Rebecca. So, so yeah, there was a price to pay. but that is very deceptive because you think, wow, they have real power and even the light emanating from him.
It's like, well, the Bible says that the devil can come as an angel of light. So, it's deception to lure people in away from God. Yes. A lot of deception, a lot of counterfeit. and it's funny cuz he said like his he's the first one, his son's the second part of the three three in one. It was crazy. And then I remember doing a prayer. Oh, this this monk that said he was the Messiah. Yeah. He said like his son will be the next one.
And we all believed him cuz we didn't we didn't get connected to him. It's so silly. Just my grandparents were going to all these temples and they like that one. So each temple has like a pastor or in this case a monk leader. So he was that one. He had like 5,000 disciples. Oh my goodness. And when I prayed, I would write these letters and he could read it and tell me what I did in the past. So I thought he was it's like past prophetic, right?
He would tell me everything I do. I was like, "How the heck did you know that?" So, fortune tellers can do that, you know, low-level stuff compared to our most high Jesus. So, and he was, wasn't he training you in that stuff as well? Yeah, my aunt was training me how to see in the spirit, how to meditate longer. [gasps] I'm not exalting the devil at all, but there were times when I would do these meditations and I would get physical supernatural powers to do things.
And I'm not on drugs. Yeah. I didn't take a Red Bull. It was just the meditating that they do. Yeah. it it it brings a lot of open doors with a lot of price to pay. So I highly go don't recommend any of that. Just pray and Jesus is more than enough. And even the fortune telling even to explain that because I had a spiritual mentor that was a prophet and he understood the spiritual realm, had such a great understanding of the Bible.
Every family has familial spirits, demons that have followed you around and they know things about your life. And so when someone's fortunetelling or telling you things, it's like how would they know? It's because those they're talking to those spirits. It's not it's not this gift. It's that they're talking to a spirit that's followed your family around and knows things. And so God knows everything.
He does. They're limited. And so, but this is it's important to talk about this kind of stuff because all this kind of stuff is out there and as the body of Christ, we have to be able to discern and understand so that we don't get swept up into stuff like that. Paul warns about that in scripture. Yeah. Amen, Rebecca. That's such a good point. I love how you said God sees it all because you know what's interesting also is these monks they actually talk about church a lot they say those Christians are so powerful they have such high level chi like respect them and I was like that's weird like why is this monk advocating Christianity so I just thought that was interesting they'll be like go go go visit church but don't join learn from them and I was like you know cuz cuz like like the the the monk was like there's machines coming out in the future that's going to measure the spiritual power of people and Christians going to be one of the highest.
And he just they just talked about church a lot. I just thought it was interesting. Wow. Yeah. So they they know. Yeah. [laughter] Even the demons are like, "Oh, oh my goodness. That's crazy." Okay, so you're in Korea. You finish high school. Did you have any encounters there with Christians or anything trying to get you to go to church? I did. You know, you know what's you know, it's funny? like every every year there was a retreat cuz a lot of my so my my private high school it wasn't too many people like 100 kids per per class so all the Christian kids would go to my classmates not kids they would go to this retreat once a year and come back fired up and give me a hug once a year I get a hug from my Christian friends like Steve I met Jesus and the next week they were back at drinking and smoking at the nightclubs and I was like what if the disciples of Jesus like this he must not be real so because of their hypocrisy I thought Christianity was fake like Jesus was a madeup figure.
So even though I had a Bible, my mom had a Bible cuz she grew up Catholic. She went to Catholic school in Korea. She too became Buddhist for similar reasons. So I never read a verse in my life. I was the only Korean kid that never read a Bible verse. [laughter] Yeah. Until like I was 19. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
Chapter 8: College, identity crisis, and drug addiction
o you finish high school in Korea and you go back to the States for college, correct? Yeah. You went to what school to study? Yeah. So I got rejected from all the good Ivy League schools like Harvard and Dartmouth and Columbus and Cornell. They waitlisted me. So I ended up in California. It was called where you're supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. Where God was waiting for me. Well, he's everywhere.
But he he chose California for me. And I got into a school called Pomona College, which is a prestigious like liberal arts school. And all my friends are attorneys now. I was I was on my way to become an attorney just like everybody else. But when I went there is when my dad became bankrupt for the second time. [laughter] So like he like he went bankrupt, right? So my mom moved to Boston and then he got wealthy again and then he got bankrupt again.
But this time it wasn't his fault cuz the whole country went through a recession. Sort of like the 2008 mortgage crisis. So that's when I ended up not being able to come back to Korea. And that's when I think God started moving in my life powerfully. Cuz when I saw my dad go from riches to rags, my heart was open to other religions and gods, including my mom. She wasn't open as well. We were so prideful, stuck in our ways.
I had my whole life planned out, a lot of wealth, a lot of houses, whatever. So when all that disappeared, the Bible says, you know, not many of you were wise or wealthy or mighty when you met God. Many of you were poor, despised in the eyes of the world when you met God. So that's when me and my family met God as well. Yeah. It's when you're shaken and usually at your lowest. But I'm always like, why do we be why are so many of us have to hit rock bottom for us to finally like accept God?
But it's just super common. I think it's you have to get to the end of yourself. Amen. I love that. Yeah. End of yourself. Yeah. So you're in college, your dad calls you up and says, "I don't have any money." And so what is that? You're out on your own now kind of. Yeah. So that was a shocker. So, I called all my friends. I said, "Hey, my dad just went bankrupt. Can I stay at your house for a month?"
And and 99% of them said, "No, you cannot stay in my house for a month." But the only friend that said, "Yes, I can stay at your house for a month." My house for a month was my friend from high school who already kind of turned a corner and went to the other side and became a drug dealer. And there was a gang running on in his house. I didn't know cuz his mom was a Christian. And check this out. His mom was actually praying that I would get saved and become a pastor and preach to her non-believing son and their friends.
And I'm the Buddhist. Isn't that funny? Cuz she knew. Yeah. She knew something cuz they were all Christian, but they were all selling drugs and getting high every day. I don't remember being sober for one minute that whole summer. We got high morning, afternoon, evening, morning, afternoon, evening. I just remember carrying like not guns, but they were carrying guns. I had to carry sometimes. We had transport bags of weed.
were transporting stuff. I don't remember anything. It was just like a big blur. That's crazy. Yeah. And I just thought it was a part of like so Southern California life. Everyone does this. I'll just, you know, do it for 3 months and I'll go back to studying law. But when I came out of that drug summer of 1998, I don't I was so high and my brain was so damaged, I could not even read like one sentence in the in the in my in my in my class.
Not only that, the last drug I did when I came back to school was the now this is the death bowl story. What were you doing before were you doing just a myriad of things before the death ball? Yeah, I mean I did some hard drugs but only like once like a few raves and Yeah, but it was mainly just the consistency of being high. It just kind of like messed with your brain. Yeah. And I think in the midst of that like maybe some people have high drug tolerance.
I didn't. Yeah. I take one hit, I'm gone. [laughter] Yeah. I was not made for I was I was not made for drugs.
Chapter 9: The 10-day “death bowl” experience
What got you to do the to do the death ball? So the death bowl was not a choice. It just looked like marijuana. Regular weed. Death bowl. I don't know anything about drugs. Okay. Death bowl. [laughter] I'm glad I called it a ball. Okay. The death ball hit my face and then I got [laughter] Oh my gosh. Okay. I got to get together. So it's a death bowl. It was just there at his house. No, it wasn't even at his house.
It was a different guy. So he he they were supposedly friends. cuz I was back in school already for my sophomore year. Okay. And then he's like, "Steve, I have really good stuff. Let's just get high one more time." I was like, "Yeah, sure." So he brings this weed and a death bowl is just a street language for regular looking weed that's that's laced with heroin, cocaine, and PCP and every other drug.
So 50% of people who smoke heroin actually end up committing suicide. So I I was going to be one in two die by suicide. That's how powerful it is. It's like fentanyl level. So I smoke, it's a little bit weaker than fentanyl. I smoked this death bowl and when it hit me, I knew this wasn't weed. I was like, "This is not weed." Cuz all of a sudden, I lose track of time, date, who I am, and I can't even speak anymore.
And that That's scary. It is. That lasted 10 days. 10 days. Yeah. So, I go to class, Rebecca, and I don't even know what class I'm in. And my friends are like, "Steve, like, hello." Like, "Happy birthday." They did a They threw a party for me during this time. No, they did not. They did. And I just sat there the whole two hours. They're like tripping out. They give a speech and I was very good at talking and I just sat there.
I was like, "where am I?" And they're like, "This is not the Steve we know." So my mom got concerned. What did the friends say that you smoked with? They were I think they were gone too somewhere [laughter] on that crazy drug trip. Yeah. a lot of them got like deported. Some of them died. So I'm very fortunate to be alive, you know, serving God. I never take that for granted. Yeah. Yeah. And and I remember my mom goes, "The guys are mad.
You got to pray more, Steve. You haven't prayed enough. So, we I came back home like quit school. Oh, yeah. Cuz she was Buddhist. So, we were So, it was like drugs and Buddhism like two in one night. It's like two bad open doors. And should I go into what happened next with the whole One thing that's important too is like on this 10day bender. Yeah. Not bender, but trip, [laughter] you weren't able to sleep.
No, I didn't get one second of rest or sleep. So, that would make you go crazy, too. You can also die from not getting sleep. Yeah. I I had a mental breakdown. It was so bad. Around the fifth day, I looked in the mirror and my my eye white eyelids were like gone. It was almost all black and I was Who is that looking at me? I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. And you know the movie Pulterized?
I lived through that. Like cuffs were falling and me and my mom were like screaming. And we bought this Buddhist writing that was supposed to bring blessings to our house. Is it's a piece of paper. It looks like weird alien writing now that I think about it. But it was going like like snapping like metallic noises. Stuff was going on in your house while it was happening. So me and my mom got so It wasn't just the bender.
This was physical cuz my mom heard it and saw it too. Now it's like on a whole another level of you know horror movie. Yeah. [laughter] Demonic attack manifestation. Yeah. So as that happened I got more scared and the intensity got worse every day. Like first day was I was high, second day I was like stressed, third day depressed, fourth day like it's like psych p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p cycle breakdown and around the eighth day of this hell on earth I had an encounter with the devil but he didn't come to me with pitchforks and horn cuz then I would know he came to me as an Asian grandpa and he said Steve I know you're having a hard time if you commit if you kill yourself I will give you 50,000 less years of hell.
So, I'm doing the math, but he came to me as a nicel looking Asian grandpa with a beer. So, I was like, "Wow, my savior's here." And he goes, "If you kill yourself, I will give you 50,000 less years of hell." So, I'm doing the math. 2 minutes of physical pain for 50,000 less years of fire burning. I don't even know what hell is cuz in Buddhism there is no hell, but he's talking about it cuz Buddhism is a mumbo jumbo of hell, heaven, and reincarnation.
Yeah. There's no set rules cuz, you know, it's it's a madeup religion. So, so I went to the kitchen, but before I did, I wrote my mom a letter. I said, "Mom, I'm
Chapter 10: Attempting suicide on the kitchen floor
so sorry for failing you in this life, but I'm going to go ahead of you into the next one. I can't stand this anymore. I'm going to offer my life to Buddha and like I'm going to see you. I'm going to kill myself." And she read that and she was just weeping, weeping. So, she started calling the Buddhist monks. I started calling them too. Is there any any other way? And the monks who I never asked for help.
This is the only time I asked them for help. They go, "Oh, Steve, we're doing a silent prayer and we cannot answer anything you ask." Oh, wow. And back in those days, it was like $4 a minute. So, I keep calling them, you know, they keep saying the same thing, hanging up on me, and I was like, "Wow." Wow. They weren't even there in all your life and you were so dedicated. Your family was so dedicated, gave money.
So, my mom felt betrayed. And she's like, "Why isn't Buddha helping?" Like, we gave everything to him. If he's a real God, something should be happening. But it got worse and worse. So, she's like beginning to doubt like Buddhism, right? because her whole life she was very devout as well. Yeah. So on the ninth day, 10th day, I just snapped and I said, "This is it." So I went to the kitchen on the 10th day.
This is in Irvine, by the way. And and I grabbed the biggest knife I could find. I got on my knees. And I remember while I was on my knees, I was like, "Finally, I get to escape this pain." But I've never killed myself before. I just saw a movie, like a samurai movie, where they go, "Haha." And I was like, "I I'll do one of those." But as I press the knife in, it's hurt. So I was like, "This is going to hurt a lot."
And my mom walks in the living room and she sees me and I start in the corner of my ass. She calls 911. So I'm there like thinking like, "How can I get this over with?" Cuz when you're drugged out, demonpossessed, depressed, no Jesus, that's all you have left. And you know, I don't know if you guys know this statistic, but in America, 50 people commit suicide every day. In South Korea, 40. It's never on the news.
So 100 people commit suicide from our two countries every day. And they al most of them succeed. I was going to become a statistic. That's why later I became a a lieutenant in the US Army, a chaplain. And my my sole job description was prevent suicide of PTSD soldiers. Wow. And I was good at it cuz I knew what they went through. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, it's all by God's grace. And I'm there on my knees and and and I look to my right and the cops came.
This is Irvine. There's so many cops. [laughter] Well city. I was like, "How the heck did they get here?" And the grandpa goes, "It's now or never." Oh, he appeared again. Yeah. So he's like, "He didn't appear, but he's talking to me." Okay. He's like, "Now or never, Steve." So I'm like, "Oh, like what do I do?" And the cops went to go, "Put the knife down." And I was like, "Should [laughter] I put it like I got to get out of here, right?
I got to go to heaven. I got to escape hell cuz now everything's like I have no idea what's going on. I just had to escape this pain." So I cut myself and and it went deep. Like I my my you know the whole scar I shared at retreats and you know even when I evangelized I lifted my shirt I go see [laughter] God is real and then there's scars all over it's a long scar I remember seeing it down your stomach so you like went down I guess yeah but this scars on the side too and then when it wasn't working and the cops jumped on me and the devil's like hurry up hurry up like you know he really wants people dead right I went for the neck so I I I remember stabbing myself like 10 times to go to heaven so I have scars all over my neck My finger broke.
So, because they hit me with a bat and it's, you know, it doesn't bend anymore, but it will at the resurrection. God's going to redeem my body. My body. [laughter] I was going to get like lasic surgery and and I I feel like the Lord was saying, "Steve, just leave it for my glory. I'll take care of you. I got you." [laughter] It's your testimony. Yeah. Exactly. Like, you don't believe me? Look, I have scars to prove it.
I know. Cuz people are like asking for proof. Like, where's the scar? Cuz I've been doing a lot of interviews and skeptics are like, "Show us the scars." Yeah. So, so here I am. But the devil, I just have to make this point. The devil was trying so desperately. Like the reason why stuff was breaking in your house, the intensity, and then him appearing to you and then him saying, "Hurry up and do it," is he was trying everything he could in his power to get you to hell.
Because Yeah, you're right. You're so I'm so glad you mentioned that cuz he is so in enmity and hatred and jealousy of God that not only did he want his throne, he can't touch God. No one can touch God. So he he touches his kids. Yeah. He attacks his kids. So God uses that to train us to become spiritual warriors cuz faith is all about fighting the good fight, persevering in the spirit. And you know, you don't have to be you don't have to have a six-pack in muscles to do it.
You can be a little kid or grandma. Actually, they're the strongest. Yeah. [laughter] In the spirit. And and that's why I believe God allowed this for me to go through this. So I cut myself open. And and the cops are trying to stop you. Yeah. They're hitting me with the bad. They're macing me. It was so painful. like I I pray nobody gets maed. It's like having hot sauce up your nose and like it just stays there.
[laughter] So I dropped the knife and and by my mom said the entire living room was covered with blood. She she told me later there was not one area that was not bloody. That's how bloody it got. And I'm I'm I'm on a stretcher. I I lose consciousness because when they hit you with the bat, it really hurts. And I already I'm already cut up. Like or arteries were cut. And I'm on the stretcher. And as I'm getting carried out, I see, I'm going in and out of
Chapter 11: 8 hours of torment in hell
my body now. I'm having OB, Rebecca, and I'm also, having an ND, near-death experience. So, one minute I'm in eternity, one minute I'm back on Earth, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm dying. I just knew." And they're carrying me to the UCI Medical Center, which was the closest O with a blood, you know, you know, specialist for the operation. And as I'm heading there, as my spirit leaves my body, I thought I was going to go up and like see the grandpa and like fly up to heaven and see something good, but I started sinking and it felt like, you know, when you ride a roller coaster, it just felt like that, but it just never went up.
So, I felt like an elevator that had no cable just and I'm I'm like, "Oh my gosh, did I make a mistake?" Like, this is not heaven. And as I'm going in and out of my body, I just knew this is it. like I'm I'm I'm I'm entering eternal death, eternal separation. So I fall fall fall for what for like five minutes and like boom, I land and I look around and I'm like, "Okay." So here I am. The place is crowded with people and like I was like, "Well, there's people, but I couldn't see their faces.
They're like adult bodies, very similar, but just outline contours." And [snorts] I looked to the I look up and it's just pitch dark. I was like, "Huh, I'm in hell." I just knew I'm in hell. And I look at the bottom, there's like purple reddish rocks everywhere. There's a cliff next to me. Per There's no plants, no animals, no life. And the fear, the anxiety, the hopelessness that I felt on Earth just increased even more.
So I was like, "Oh my gosh, I thought I was going to escape hell. It was so bad those 10 days. Now it's worse." Not only is it worse, I look up and there's demons with capes and they're huge. And they're they're like here, here, here. And I knew they were like in charge of this place. And I go, "Oh my gosh, I I made a huge mistake." It's too late, though. Cuz supernaturally, I knew I was a sinner for the first time in my life, Rebecca.
I was like, "What?" Cuz on earth, I was a pretty good Buddhist, you know. I never killed anybody. I've never done anything deserving of hell. I thought I stole once when I was a kid. It was a chocolate bar, like 10 cents, you know, and I stole drugs, but only weed, right? Like I never stole drugs that kill people. So, in my eyes, I was very righteous. Like, I'm a good person. But right when I landed, for the first time in my life, I knew I deserve to be there, which I thought was very interesting.
I was like, how do I know this? But this is where I belong. And number two, I knew I was going to be here forever. This is it. Like, not 50,000 years less. It was all a lie. I knew I got tricked and I'm duped. And and the physical, spiritual, emotional, social, whatever, intellectual pain that you feel is something that I pray nobody ever experiences. That's why we're so on fire for evangelism. That's why we preach everywhere we go.
I was on I was preaching to a bunch of Mormon college students on the way here. There was like 30 of them on the plane. I was telling all of them, Jesus, [laughter] don't read the Book of Mormon. Yeah. Jesus. The Bible only. On only Jesus. So, so yeah, I experienced hell firsthand. I saw cells on the on the cliffs where I knew I was going to go in there and get tortured. I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm next."
And and and that feeling of eternal separation from God shouldn't be felt by people because it says in the Bible, God desires all people to be saved. He desires all people to be saved. But people go there because they don't they choose to go there. So I believe in free will and all that. I used to be like God sends people. God wants everybody in heaven. So free will is so real. Choice is what makes a human a human and love love and God.
And that's why we're it's we're made in his image. I think that's one of the the biggest aspects of that is he gave us free will. Yeah. We're made in this image. We were designed to be with God. Like fish with water, you know, like plants with soil, but he won't force us to be there. Thank you. Yeah. He will not. And because he's a gentleman, he's a he's a king. Kings don't force a royal king doesn't force his subjects to obey him.
They do so because they want to serve a king like Jesus. Exactly. There's no there's no better king. So, here I am experiencing eternal separation from God. And I like what a pastor quoted in South Korea. He has like 300,000 members in his church. I was looking for quotes on hell and and and he said, "Hell is the perfect judgment from a perfect God against his perfect enemies in a perfect way." So, it can't get worse than hell.
It was created for the devil and his antichrist and the false prophet. Yeah. And and the wicked, you know. So, I was meditating on like Jeremiah, Isaiah of Psalms of God's punishment on the wicked because God saves, but he also judges every day. Like people forget in this cookie cutter you know soft Barbie culture, excuse me, alphabet club culture that God is a ferocious warrior. He's the most ferocious, powerful, holy being that anyone everyone should fear.
No one should fear each other. We should love each other and serve each other. But God, we must fear and respect. So hell is real and it proves that. And heaven is real. So I experienced hell firsthand. I pray even like Kim Jong-il doesn't go there. I see Putin killing millions of people. I see all these evil leaders. I go, "Lord, give them a chance." Yeah. That's how bad it is. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly.
That you wouldn't want anyone to go there. What were the people doing? Cuz you saw tons of people there. You know, I don't I had a very visual experience, but I didn't see them doing anything. I was in so much pain. There's no like mental capacity to walk up to somebody and go, "Hey, where you from? I'm from Irvine. I just, you know, I met him." You're just pure suffering. Yeah. You're just pure suffering.
There's no break to like there's no mental break to go, "Oh man, I made a mistake. I used to be a Buddhist." Like, "Nice to meet you." No greeting, no convo, no conversation. You're just suffering by yourself with others. There's no room or love or social capacity to interact. It's just eternal eternal eternal damnation, condemnation that Jesus warns about all throughout the scripture. He talks about hell more than heaven for a reason.
So I don't remember what they were doing cuz I was just in so much agony. There's no I don't remember. They were standing there though. They I remember being with them. Yeah. And the demons were torturing people. Yeah. I didn't even see the torturing itself, but they were there with capes and walking around like I knew they were gods and I was like, "What the heck? Like what are these things?" But I knew they were in charge of the place.
Yeah.
Chapter 12: Intercessors in the ER
Okay. So, how do you get out [laughter] because you're here right now? Yeah. I am here. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad to be alive. Rebecca, sometimes like I don't need anything. I'm just so glad to be alive. Yeah, I would feel the same way. And and [clears throat] the reason why I'm here is because I believe it's the prayer. So my mom, do you remember the mom that my friend's mom who was praying for me?
The drug dealer's mom. Yeah. [laughter] [gasps] So she still goes to the same church as my mom. Can you believe that? She knows I'm here. She knows I'm a pastor. A she she So my mom has no friends cuz she just moved to California. And she calls Mrs. Kim and she goes, "This is spiritual warfare. It's time to pray. My mom was like, "Spiritual? What? I never heard that word in my life." So, they sent eight pastors from Grace Ministries International.
I just spoke at their summer retreat. This this one local church, believe it or not, planted 10,000 churches and baptized a million people. It became a denomination. That's so cool. Yeah. They sent out 600 full-time missionaries. U planted 1,000 churches in Russia, 3,000 in China, 500 in India. So, these guys, you know, they're like, "One more for Jesus." They come to the ER and they're praying for me.
I don't even know them. Unlike the monks who were selfish, they were selfless and they were praying for me at the ER in tongues and the power of the Holy Spirit during the entire duration of the surgery which was 8 hours long. When I woke up later, the doctor said, "Steve, it's a miracle." The doctor who did the operation on me, the specialist, the the blood the blood of vein specialist, he looks at me, he goes, "Steve, it's a miracle you're alive. I thought I was going to lose you cuz your blood pressure and your heart rate just kept dropping, but it's a miracle you're here."
And I don't I don't even know if he was a believer, but he kept saying that to me after I woke up from the surgery. So they prayed for me to because all the arteries were cut and they told my mom to I think you have to get ready to let your son go. So my mom was like Buddha. I heard she went crazy in the waiting room like Buddha Allah Jesus [laughter] and you got up there cuz she now she's like I need some options here. Buddha is not helping.
Yeah. So I heard she called out every god and like weeping because my mom's very passionate you know very loud Korean mom. Very loud. So she she prayed the people from church came and prayed and and they were there for a long time, right? Yeah, they were they were prayer warriors. They didn't just come for 5 minutes and go, "Oh, good luck." They stay for the whole thing. And when I opened my eyes, I was in the operation room with staples and cubes everywhere, surrounded by these eight, you know, prayer warriors.
And and before I woke up, I didn't see Jesus yet because, you know, I don't even know what he looks like. But I heard a still small voice say, "No more Buddhism and no more drugs and I love you." And I was like, "That doesn't feel like Buddha. It sounds different." And it felt warm love, which was I think what I was longing for, which I know what I was longing for my whole life. That unconditional love of God, which totally transformed me and my parents and everyone around me that met Jesus around the time.
So I open my eyes and the first thing that the pastor goes is, "In Jesus name, devil be gone." And I said, "I'm not the devil." And she goes, "Good. I just want to make sure you're not possessed cuz you know I try to kill myself. What if I attack them with all these tubes and staples on me?
Chapter 13: Salvation and a new beginning
And then she's like, "What did you see?" So I share what I saw and they all go, "You saw hell." And I go, "Yes." And I'm not going back cuz I just came out. I open my eyes. I'm on earth. I'm like, "Thank God." You know, I'm back. how do I how do I not go back? And they go, "You need to make Jesus Lord and Savior." I go, "How the heck do I do that? I'll do anything." They go, "Just say this prayer."
I was like, "Okay, that's it." So I say the prayer and you know they leave me through the sinner's prayer and and and I go can I do that again cuz just in case insurance I want yeah I want insurance and they go okay so they were patient up to three times and I go you know what ma'am just give me the paper I'm going to do it myself so I pray the prayer I was reading it 10 times and I felt a little bit of peace so after 10 times I stopped praying the sinner's prayer and that was my introduction to Jesus Christ and the Christian faith in the church. So where do you go from there? Yeah. So from there, I go to back home.
but I was still physically sick. And I'm trying to make a sense of this. Now I know Buddhism is fake cuz I saw hell, which I don't believe in. And then I see these Christians who are the most loving people I've ever met. Like they they started visiting me. I got discharged like in a few days. And and they put me on these meds, but you know, I didn't take them. You have the Holy Spirit now. So they came and they they started visiting me with like brownies and Bible studies.
And they go, "Steve, now that God saved you, what do you want to be?" And I don't even know why, but I said, "Pastor." And they're like, "Yes, exactly. We've been praying for you to say that [snorts] cuz your life doesn't belong to you. God saved you. It belongs to him." And I was like, "Yes, I'll do anything." You know? So, so I'm having Bible studies. These people visit me from church. And I felt so loved for the first time in my life.
So, I'm having a lot of peace. I'm sleeping a lot better. and and and I went to the prayer mountain two months later. And by the grace of God, I got baptized in the Holy Spirit, praying in tongues, and like I had dreams of Buddhist monks running away from me, spiderw webs like breaking down. Wow. Jesus Christ coming back. It was amazing how and I was prophesying. It was so accurate. I was like, "What's going on?"
It was all, you know, spiritled. And then so I thought I was ready to conquer the world. But when I came back to college, I backslid like in two minutes. I was like, I I saw heaven. I saw not heaven yet. I saw hell. I'm ready to like save the world, Lord. I went down there [laughter] and my friends were like, "Oh, really, Steve?" And they're like, "Let's have one more drink." So, I I drank the same day I came back down in January.
Can you believe that? And I was backsliding the whole first spring semester. And my non-Christian friends look at me and they go, "Steve, we all heard your story on campus. Like, you know, you used to party with us. You saw Jesus and hell and you're still here. You shouldn't be here." They're like preaching against me. You shouldn't be smoking that bong. You should you shouldn't be drinking anymore.
I was like, "You're right." So, and I got into like three car accidents in the same time period. And I got the message. I was like, you feel like God was trying to speak to you through that. Yeah. Like, get it, Steve. Yeah. Cuz what happened was I was still physically so tired from the whole ordeal. I gained like 20 pounds. I couldn't play basketball anymore. So, I'm I stayed in my room a lot just thinking like, what is life about?
Like, should I be a lawyer? Cuz I'm still back at school studying. It lost a lot of meaning cuz I saw the end of life of every human being. Why build this empire when it's all going to disappear? And so I'm sitting there like, God, what do you want me to do? And and I felt like God was saying, you know, you know, move move overseas. So I'm just praying and and around the ninth month of backsliding, when I least deserved it, he showed me heaven.
[snorts] Yeah. God showed me
Chapter 14: A breathtaking vision of heaven
heaven. And it was, either and, you know, I never read the Bible, but I just knew we were in the last days. And the ant, you know, it's interesting because I never read the Bible or saw movies, but it was the antichrist was ruling the earth and everybody was had the 666 mark. Really? Yeah. And I and my family didn't. So they were killing all the Christians and we were next. We're like running away.
Either they killed us or we got raptured. I don't know. The word rapture is not even in the Bible, but either we got taken up or we got killed. So I'm sitting on standing on top of a mountain with my mom and my brother who were saved at the time with me because they all accepted Jesus right after this. And to give context, this was through a dream. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't like a NDE like hell, but it was a dream.
But it was I didn't know about the first part. So, you actually had a dream first about the end times and the antichrist and the 666 and then your family either got killed or raptured up. You don't know which one. Yeah, that's the same dream with the heaven one. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I never read the Bible on that. So, I just knew it was from God cuz I read the Bible after. Wow. And I read it like more than a hundred times now.
Cover to cover and and it was all in there. Like everything I saw in the dream was so scripture-based, including hell, including heaven. So I go to heaven and and in the dream. Yeah. And I pray every listener goes there cuz it's your home. You you were made for it. I saw the father's glory. but before that, I saw angels. Well, there I heard angels, too. Mirrors of them. Oh, they're worshiping God.
And I heard their voice. I go, "This is the most beautiful choir I've ever heard. It can't be people." And sure enough, it was angels. I look up, there's I look down, there's a huge valley of green grass, the most beautiful green I've ever seen in my life. [snorts] A rivers flowing. And I knew it was like the river of God. And I was like, "This is the opposite of hell. God, this is awesome." And and I was like, "Wow, this is my home."
And I see a huge golden city coming down from heaven. It's a literal city. It's the distance from Dallas to New York in width, height, and length. It's all over Revelation 2021:22. It's the first millennial reign where all the martyrs go first and then you have the second resurrection where the whole body of Christ joins. That's why it says blessed is the one who partakes in the first resurrection.
It's all in the scripture. So it comes down and this gold was so pure I looked up. I said that's my city, the new Jerusalem. It was pure translucent gold. And in the city, the chairs, the cups, everything's gold. So if you ever feel poor, don't worry. God's got a gold city waiting for you. But more important than the gold was the presence of God. There was no son because God the father himself was the son.
S u n with the son s o n and the spirit. And the father comes to me in his glorious light. And it was the most beautiful encounter I ever had. I I pray everybody has it or even greater ones. And he speaks to me from this light that's like moving and like shining on me. And the father goes, "Jesus Christ is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Listen to him. Listen to him. Listen to him." And it was the most beautiful, majestic, many rivers, powerful, glorious, and warm and kind.
Author, he's my he's your dad. He's my dad. He's our father. But he's he's royalty. He's king of kings. And he spoke to me and I opened my eyes and I was like, "Wow, I just heard the voice of God." And in the scriptures, four of the three scriptures has that verse. So, so he he told me that verse three times and I opened my eyes said, "My
Chapter 15: Starting a new life in Christ
backsliding days are gone." And I told my dad, I just saw heaven. He goes, "Good." Cuz I see your life, Stephen. It's like, "What's going on? Like, is he real or not?" So, I told him what I saw and he goes, "Well, I want to see some change." So, my life started changing. I I stopped partying besides the three car accidents. I almost lost my life again and the trip to heaven. I wrote a letter to college, you know.
I said, "Guys, thank you. They give me a scholarship to become a lawyer, whatever. I said, "Guys, I met the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and thank you for the offer, but I want to be an ambassador for for many nations, an attorney for Jesus, an advocate for the King of Kings." That that was crazy. Like, what are you talking about? [laughter] Cuz it's kind of a liberal school. They have a seminary.
They're very liberal. Yeah. So, so I moved to China, in the summer of 2000. Yeah. I just dropped everything and moved. And my mom goes, "yes, I want you to go there. Like, I wanted, you know, Asian moms, right? They want you to be successful." She's like, "No, that matters. Go serve God." My dad was like, "Yeah, yeah, go serve God." And and I went there in the peak of their, persecution. Yeah. So, so I dropped everything and from Grace Church, they commissioned me to be a missionary in China.
What I love about this story is to me it makes sense that I mean some people the hell encounter but it makes sense to me that it actually took the heaven encounter because it can't just be the fear of hell. It has to be the love of God. Thank you. Yes. And understanding to have that relationship with him and to fully surrender your life. Amen. And that's when you fully surrendered and you say, "God, my life is yours.
I'll go wherever you want me to go. I'll do whatever you want me to do." And that's where I think a lot of people are missing it is that you have to give everything to God. So good. Whoever loses his life will, you know, how how's that verse go in Matthew? Whoever lose his life for my sake will save it. Whoever tries to save his life will lose it. Yeah. Exactly. Something like that. And so when we actually give our lives to him, that's actually when he can do something.
But I just love because the Bible says the love of God compels us. Amen. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it compels you. And you saw the father and he said, "Obey my son. Be in a relationship with my son. Submit your life to him." And so that's what causes the real transformation. Amen. Yeah. So good. So good. He said, "Listen to him." Because people think we cannot listen to God. But he's always speaking through the scripture.
Even as I'm interviewing you, I see God's glory more than anything here. [snorts] I hear his voice right now, you know. So, he's always in communion with us. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. He's so good. Yeah. Amen. and he's we're led by his spirit and it's a daily thing and it's being discipled and you needed to be discipled too and so that was interesting too. You started reading the Bible after the heaven encounter.
Yeah. A lot more cuz I had more time cuz I'm not going to school anymore. I just dropped out. Yeah. You fully gave your life but you had a hunger. Yeah. Cuz that that's the thing like when you actually begin to like when you have that relationship with God even the it goes from this like task that you have to do to like I'm going to get to encounter God and learn about him and you just get so hungry for his word.
Amen. Yeah. I got hungry for his word. Like I was praying to Buddha for those hours and that same zeal just transferred over to to a living God who talks back. Yeah. So when I when I So this is the cool thing about Jesus compared to Buddha is like Buddha he never spoke to me for 19 years. Jesus, he talked every day. This morning I talked to him. Last night he talked to me. Yeah. But not like a heavenly encounter.
That's like rare like Apostle Paul. But through the Bible, through other people, like he's always talking to you. And I love that about him. He's a He's talkative. He's He communicates. He does. He's awesome. He's awesome. [laughter] And he's so worth it. And I I love I do want you to talk about going to China.
Chapter 16: Underground missionary life in China
When you were young, you're only like 20. I went Yeah. You're only 20. You get sent to one of the most persecuted countries in the world. Talk about what that was like. Yeah. So, I wasn't the only one that went like a lot of missionaries from America was going to China at the time because they still let us in. Now, they don't. They just kicked out all the missionaries last year or two years ago. Yeah.
Isn't that horrible? So, but at least back then they let us in and then they would persecute you. So they let me in and then it was a it was in 2000 and I remember the team was getting ready and the pastor goes now that you've been trained to pray and read the Bible for 14 months you're ready to go. And I was like where am I going? They go they go if you go to China we'll like release you to the nations.
I was like and this is I I respect church authority. We're not we're not like controlled by them but I respect and honor how God speaks to the church. And the a primary example of that is when Paul and Barnabas, Paul who wrote the Bible, he got commissioned by the church in Antioch. He wasn't like me and Jesus. He moved with the church, the body of Christ, just like they start like all of you guys do.
So So I went I went to China and it was so funny cuz I'm 20 years old. I'm packing my life away. My mom's like, "Go die for the Lord." I was like, "Mate, that's the best thing you can say." But you made a powerful point. You said when your mom released you, it actually had a profound effect on your life. Yeah. cuz I think moms need to hear that. Yes. Thank you. So me and my mom, we had a soul tie which is not healthy in the spirit.
Like we would always argue. She controlled my life. She was like my best friend. And then one day after I met she got saved too. Yeah, she got saved powerfully. She wakes up at 5:00 a.m. every morning now and and prays for me. she's an elder in the church and she goes evangelizing. She's 74. Can you believe that? She goes evangelizing on the streets. Yeah. She she she looks at me one day and goes, "Steve, you're not mine anymore.
You belong to God." And I was like, "Mom, that doesn't sound like you. I know you, you know." Yeah. [laughter] And she goes, "You don't belong to me." And when she said that, all this warfare I had just broke loose. Like it disappeared in my life. And I saw what I'm supposed to do. Cuz until then, she was like, "Steve, have you thought about this school, that school, that church?" And I'm like, "Oh, so much too much feedback."
Like I'm not saying don't give feedback, but soul tie is not healthy. So that broke off and then God was able to take take the place. Yeah. It's just so powerful because moms can get into that thing where they want to control and almost suppress and you're suppressing God working through your child's life and you have to surrender them to God. You still mother them. You still steward them, but you raise them up and send them out.
And so that broke that off. And so you go to China. Yeah. And talk about that. Yeah. So China was life-changing. I hope I pray every evangelical born again Christian goes to the mission field at least once cuz it was a whole new world. When I got there the first miracle was we smuggled Bibles. So they gave it all to me cuz I was the youngest guy on the team and they were like Steve if you go if you get caught you'll survive prison but look at us we're 40 50 60 we're going to die.
I was like wow this is church is like this huh you're [laughter] like this is intense. Yeah. So I I had all these small Chinese Bibles not even English. So I I get off to customs and they go come here and there's soldiers every with guns and they open the bag and there's Chinese Bible. So the soldier I think God blinded his eyes literally cuz he picks it up. Had to have. Yeah. He he he picks it up and now I'm like I'm going to jail.
Yeah. I'm the first one in in the Kang family going [laughter] to jail for Jesus. I'm literally about to like, you know, faint. And he opens the Bible. He he goes through the pages and he [laughter] he's like, "Oh, interesting book." He closes it. He puts it back in the bag and goes next. Cuz during that time in year 2000, many Christians were going to jail for Bible having Bibles. Mhm. So I brought it in and the team was cheering like, "Hey."
And then we the first thing we did was we took a six-hour drive through the craziest windy narrowest road I've ever seen in the middle of a thunderstorm. And I get there, it's a Chinese factory. There's 300 underground pastors there. And like 30 of us joined them. Wow. And the worship was the first time where we just walked in. We're weeping. Some were weeping cuz they were so broken from the [laughter] trip.
I was weeping cuz the Holy Spirit came and I felt him physically and everybody was there like 16-year-old ministers, 14-year-old kids. I've heard about that. Pastors. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. That met Jesus and left everything. And I met 14 year olds who were pastoring 300 churches. That's crazy. Yeah. I was like, "How did you do that?" They're like, "Oh, well, my parents disowned me cuz I disown cuz I said no to the communist regime.
I'm I pledge allegiance to the kingdom of God and now God is my kingdom and and I learned so much from my stay there about about like it was less than half a year. So I was I was there to like die and live there but the missionaries looked at me after 6 months of experiencing the Holy Spirit persecution every 3 days you have to move location because they're always tracking you and following you. But we had we had people watching out for us too. We believers would be like two miles down the road. I don't know how they talk to each other, but they would tell the other person and we would escape.
But one time it was really close because we didn't have time to escape the house church. A lot of house churches underground. even GMI, that one church built like 3,000 churches during this season. And I remember one time they're like, "It's too late. Just go up the attic." So we're like, "Where's the attic? I don't see no attic." And they pull something down. We go up there and I'm up there like kind of nervous cuz the soldiers rushed into the house and I can see through the holes like they're down there and they're like looking around and I was like I'm going now I'm going and then the I had a translator and the and the fellow believer go Steve don't worry if you go to jail we get closer to Jesus.
I was like that is not comforting man like [laughter] I'm not 20 I'm not married like yeah you're a new Christian too. I'm a new Christian like so it was like God just dumped it on me like your training is on site you know OTJ on the job training there's no like transition so so eventually they didn't find us they left u we got back in the car moved on to next city in the next city and next city and back then I was so shy they asked me to preach so many times and I was like I'm not preaching they're like preach you're from America you got have something to say from America I was like so the whole six months I didn't preach once even though they asked me like 30 times I was just so afraid you know Ah and then and then after 6 months they go Steve you've seen everything in China you've seen the persecution the lifestyle of the believer how united the church is there's no denominations back then it was just one that's powerful yeah are you a believer or not if you are you're in the game if not you're you're not in the game because there were spies too like trying to come in to report and and and and it was very dangerous but they say they said go go to America get a degree and come back so that's what I did I came back to LA got a degree at Biola University, MD, whatever, and and went back to China occasionally, but not full-time, but yeah. And so, yeah, that's the story of China. [laughter] That's so powerful. The book of Acts.
Yeah. In real life. Yeah. And you would say like they would worship for like 12 hours a day or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Rebecca, so because like these guys don't have training every day, when missionaries come, they they'll stay all day and cuz they're so hungry. Yeah. They're so hungry and and the presence of God was really thick there. Yeah, most services we cried. Like it's like I'm not saying it's like super emotionally exciting all the time, but you could feel the tangible presence of God, which was by the hunger of God's people.
That can happen anywhere, Dallas, China, as long as people are hungry. Yeah.
Chapter 17: Appreciating freedom of religion in America
Yeah. The thing with what I love too is cuz you came back and you would go back and forth is that I do think if Americans cannot be seduced or good into apathy because I think that's it's like a different kind of spiritual battle here. M I think that we could really have an opportunity to flourish here and help impact the nations, you know, that we there's so much that we can do and like take advantage of the nation that we're in that we have this freedom and use it for 1 hour, 7 secondsgood and not grow apathetic in our faith, but rather [clears throat] be on fire and impact the world around us. 1 hour, 13 secondsYes. I'm so glad you mentioned that because America is still the headquarters of the Christian faith.
1 hour, 17 secondsBlessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. Trust me, I've been to many other countries. There's no country like America. You know, I'm so grateful to be 1 hour, 26 secondshere. that's why I served in the military and pray for our country every day because missionaries first came from America to Korea in in the early 1900s. 1 hour, 34 secondsReally, they all got martyed. The the Korean idol worshippers, they all killed him.
1 hour, 38 secondsMissionary Thomas, all these missionaries that left some of them Texas, some of them, you know, other states, Boston, New York, the student 1 hour, 46 secondsvolunteer movement of Chicago, where all these college students under the teachings of DL Moody. 1 hour, 51 secondsUm, they they heard the gospel and they said, "Only one life. It soon be passed. 1 hour, 55 secondsYou know, only what's done for Christ will last." And they all just volunteered.
And some of them ended up in Korea, not by will, but they're like, "Hey, there's this other little Asian country. We should go there, too." 1 hour, 1 minute, 3 secondsThey're all going to China. Husten Taylor, China in the mission. And they ended up in China by accident. and I heard or some of them and some of them are like we need to go there. So now 1 hour, 1 minute, 11 secondswhen when Korea received the gospel from America 100 years ago it bore fruit after it takes about 3 four five 1 hour, 1 minute, 19 secondsgeneration to totally change you know and now South Korea has 55,000 Protestant churches and many of them moved to America to plant churches here.
Yeah. 1 hour, 1 minute, 28 secondsSo it's like you reap what you sow. So I love this the fact that America is still a light on the hill and salt of the world. 1 hour, 1 minute, 37 secondsand we still fight the good fight and there's still hope. Yeah. Yeah. 1 hour, 1 minute, 40 secondsAnd I love hearing what you say that that you're grateful for this country and I think that there's just so much negativity and it's kind of moving 1 hour, 1 minute, 48 secondsthe perspective the wrong direction where it's like we should be grateful for what we do have.
Yeah. It's not perfect, but compared to other places, we have so much opportunity and we 1 hour, 1 minute, 56 secondsshould make the most of it to spread God's kingdom. Amen. And change things. 1 hour, 2 minutesYeah. And I Yes. I'm I believe every true believer is a patriot because in the Bible it says honor the king. We don't have kings anymore. 1 hour, 2 minutes, 8 secondsBut Paul who got killed by the king in the Roman Empire didn't say revolt, kill Caesar.
He said honor the king. Pray for Caesar to be saved. 1 hour, 2 minutes, 17 secondsBless the Roman Empire. It wasn't like let's do a revolution. 1 hour, 2 minutes, 21 secondsTurn it down. Yeah. No. No. We our weapons are mighty. Christianity is all about loving the unlovable, forgiving the unforgivable, and blessing the 1 hour, 2 minutes, 30 secondsunbsable, and serving the least of these, and not having to promote or defend myself.
Jesus is a he's he's he's 1 hour, 2 minutes, 37 secondsraising up saints all over America. And I believe Charlie Kirk was the summary of what a believer should look like in the year 2025. 1 hour, 2 minutes, 45 secondsYeah, I agree. 1 hour, 2 minutes, 46 secondsSpeaking truth. You know, I I tell all our church friends, faith is spelled f i g ht. Yeah. If you're not fighting, it's 1 hour, 2 minutes, 54 secondsbecause you're not saved.
If you're not saving others, Charles Spurgeon said, "Be sure of this. You yourself are not saved. You think you are, but you're not saved if you don't care about other 1 hour, 3 minutes, 2 secondssouls. You're just in the Christian culture." So, yeah, when our brother Charlie got murdered, like all my friends who never evangelized started evangelizing. 1 hour, 3 minutes, 12 secondsAll of a sudden, I was like, "Hey, I've been calling you for 5 years.
Now you come out." They're like, "Yeah, I need to." [laughter] It woke people up. 1 hour, 3 minutes, 19 secondsYeah. The blood of the martyr speaks like the blood of Abel speaks louder than you know all these sacrifices and religious offerings. So yeah, so I really believe God is on the move. 1 hour, 3 minutes, 29 secondsThere's still hope on earth.
Chapter 18: The power of confession
1 hour, 3 minutes, 30 secondsWhat would you say to the person who's watching that might be struggling in their faith, but they're in they're inspired listening to your testimony? 1 hour, 3 minutes, 39 secondsWhat would your encouragement to them be? 1 hour, 3 minutes, 41 secondsOh yes, thank you for shing that because that's what matters. 1 hour, 3 minutes, 45 secondsYou know, God's not impressed by people doing interviews and having big followings. He's he's he's impressed by one thing, a contrite spirit and and 1 hour, 3 minutes, 55 secondsbeing poor in spirit and being hungry for God.
So, my only my encouragement would be look at me, ultimate backslider, 1 hour, 4 minutes, 3 secondssuicidal. Like, you know, I gave you the like one hour version, but if I gave you the eight hour version, I backslid so 1 hour, 4 minutes, 11 secondsmuch that I thought, Rebecca, that I was the only Christian that saw hell that will go back to hell. 1 hour, 4 minutes, 17 secondsLike, I just knew I'm going to go back cuz my lifestyle didn't match my testimony. And I meet so many believers that say, you know, I used to run with God, Steve. I got hurt in the church.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 26 secondsLike, I'm hopeless. I'm addicted to ABC. And I tell them, there's hope, brother. 1 hour, 4 minutes, 31 secondsIf you recognize it, if you there's only one thing you got to do, recognize that you need help and call out to help to God and he will help you. Because after 1 hour, 4 minutes, 40 secondsuh striving and having all these backsliding events, I just said, "God, I can't do this anymore."
Yeah. 1 hour, 4 minutes, 46 secondsLike you said, ended myself. And he took over and I confessed my sins to my Christian friends. The Bible says, "Confess your sins to one another and 1 hour, 4 minutes, 54 secondsyou'll be healed." So I said, "Man, I I have no friends. I should tell I told Facebook and my youth kids and like they they took it well. They're like, "We 1 hour, 5 minutes, 3 secondsforgive you for like smoking on Monday, looking at stupid stuff on Wednesday, having hidden skeletons in the closet, 1 hour, 5 minutes, 12 secondsbut since you confessed it, Pastor Steve, Brother Steve, we forgive you."
And when I did that, those sins left my life as if they never existed. And then I'm 1 hour, 5 minutes, 20 secondsnot saying I'm perfect, but way better than 27 years ago. And anyone listening, there's hope for you. You just got to 1 hour, 5 minutes, 28 secondsacknowledge and trust in God. He will do it 100%. And some people say, "What if he doesn't?" And my question is, "What if he does?" Cuz he will.
He will. 1 hour, 5 minutes, 36 secondsHe will stay faithful with you to the very end. He's so good. I'm here because of God's grace. 1 hour, 5 minutes, 41 secondsAnd you and we're all here because of his grace. He's going to take you home. He's He's He's loyal. He's trustworthy. Amen. 1 hour, 5 minutes, 48 secondsThat's so good. And you know, I think that the en enemy wants us to stay in shame and to keep things hidden, but the 1 hour, 5 minutes, 55 secondsmoment you confess, the Bible says like you're putting it in the light and it's like we have fellowship in the light and it breaks that power.
It says the blood of Christ forgives us and cleanses us. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 6 secondsAnd [laughter] so that you but you were humble enough and I just think people either prideful or they're caught in shame and there is no shame in Christ. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 13 secondsThere is no condemnation. But when you bring that into the light, the power of sin, it lost hold over you because it was no longer hidden. Amen.
And you're 1 hour, 6 minutes, 20 secondsable to walk in freedom. And so, but you we just have to be humble and honest and open and continue to understand that God is our source. We are not our source. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 29 secondsAnd to really live with the end in mind, that vision of heaven that you had, knowing we're going to be there one day. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 34 secondsAnd we want to bring as many people to heaven with us.
We want to we want to make hell empty and heaven crowded. Yes. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 43 secondsYes. Yes. Humble, honest, open. I love that. Yes. Yeah. Amen. So good. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 47 secondsSo good. Well, I just want to say thank you so much just for being here and we have your book 8 hours in hell is out. So, and you this is probably the 8 1 hour, 6 minutes, 55 secondshour version. This has all the stuff in it.
Yeah. 1 hour, 6 minutes, 58 secondsYeah. Well, like physically I was in hell for 8 hours, but it felt both like 5 minutes and eternity. 1 hour, 7 minutes, 4 secondsOh, no. I meant like this is the 1hour version interview, but this has like all the details in it. 1 hour, 7 minutes, 9 secondsYeah. So, they need to get this if they want to get the full stuff. Yep. Yeah. Yes. 1 hour, 7 minutes, 13 secondsUm but that's awesome.
Can you close us out with a prayer?
Chapter 19: Closing prayer & outro
1 hour, 7 minutes, 18 secondsYeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I love to pray to God. prayer is everything. 1 hour, 7 minutes, 22 secondsIt's our privilege. the Bible says to come boldly into the throne room of grace in time of need because we live in very shaky times, end times. 1 hour, 7 minutes, 32 secondsEverything's shifting. without Christ, you cannot survive anymore. I feel like God's coming back very soon.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 38 secondsAnd the Lord is calling you to be wholly surrendered to him. not by striving or by effort but by like you said earlier 1 hour, 7 minutes, 44 secondshumble honest and open to be humble and honest and open before God. So, Father, I want to pray for all the listeners of 1 hour, 7 minutes, 51 secondsDayar and sister your your precious beloved daughter Rebecca's podcast and this is ministry God you have a new form 1 hour, 7 minutes, 58 secondsof ministry in these last days Q&A interviews where it might not be a sermon but it's so powerful because you using technology Lord to all the 1 hour, 8 minutes, 7 secondslisteners we pray for your grace heavenly father to fall upon them in Jesus name to be humble and holy and open to be acknowledging their need for 1 hour, 8 minutes, 16 secondsyou that every single one there's hope you're going to restore them. Restore the lost calling twofold like Job. Restore the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 hour, 8 minutes, 24 secondsAnd for some, bring fresh anointing, God, to save souls, God. We were not saved to be churchy people. We got saved 1 hour, 8 minutes, 31 secondsto worship, to save souls, and one day to hopefully be a martyr for you. I pray all the listeners can die for you one day, Lord. That none of us will be 1 hour, 8 minutes, 39 secondsafraid. It is only one life. It will soon be passed.
Only what's done for Jesus Christ will last. I pray for the power of the cross, the power of the 1 hour, 8 minutes, 47 secondsgospel of which we're not ashamed that you open new doors of the gospel sharing for everyone listening, God, that the Holy Spirit will flow from your throne 1 hour, 8 minutes, 55 secondsroom to the nations day stars reaching to the ends of the earth. Let every listener be quickened, awakened, blessed, empowered, and encouraged and 1 hour, 9 minutes, 2 secondscalled. Thank you for giving all of us eyes to see and ears to hear what the spirit of Jesus Christ is saying to the 1 hour, 9 minutes, 10 secondschurch, the body of Christ in these last days. We want to be holy and pure at your coming, God.
So help us, Father. 1 hour, 9 minutes, 16 secondsIt's all by your grace. We give you all the glory, Father, and in Jesus mighty name we pray. Amen and amen. 1 hour, 9 minutes, 24 secondsAmen. Amen. Thank you so much. 1 hour, 9 minutes, 26 secondsThank you. Thank you, Rebecca. All glory to God. It's an honor to be with you. Thank you. 1 hour, 9 minutes, 32 seconds[music]
